For anyone who has never felt like Enough…

Over the past four weeks

You’ve had time to stew

To spit fire and boil your anger

It simmering over until all you could see

Is that:

You were wronged.

 

You were wronged and I, I did nothing to stop it

I, culpable, responsible for the words of others

That have driven themselves into your psyche and torn not only yourself

But every one involved up

 

I am to blame for the past hurts,

For transgressions I cannot begin to understand,

Because I will never fully be in your shoes

As you will never fully be in mine

And trying has not been enough.

I did not say enough, I was not loyal enough

Because I did not want to start a war?

Because words about one thing became a personal attack that I was supposed to defend,

Like a knight with a shield of prism where words would shatter into rainbows,

leaving beauty and no pain.

Or so I hoped. I thought I did,

I thought I spoke enough but when things spiraled out of context,

The damage was done.

I was not enough.

Words were not enough.

 

And now a chasm has opened,

It’s jaws gaping wide, teeth grasping onto single sentences, single moments

That showed that I was not enough.

That I am unforgivable

That friendship cannot be salvaged

And I, I can no longer hold onto this anger

This hurt, for I have apologized

I have tried to understand

And once again

I was not enough.

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